Row 81600

Row ID: 81600 | Dataset Entry | Axioma AXP Content Repository

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This page contains data entry 81600 from the Axioma AXP content repository. The structured data below represents the complete record for this entry.

But it happened. The following is Donald Trumps sworn testimony of what happened that day.

Donald Trump, while spoon feeding sick orphans, suddenly looked up! He had felt a disturbance in earth’s Life Flow. Quickly closing his eyes and engaged in the Super Duper Meditation (a technique so powerful that zen masters don’t dare try it), Donald realized that Biden the Destroyer had ordered his death. With a deep sigh, Donald realized that the edits to Bible that God ordered him to do would just have to wait. Grabbing his Thumbchucks (a special weapon designed to perfectly fit his hands) from Tic-Tac container he uses to hide them, the Donald swept into action. As the first FBI agents burst in the door, bullets spraying the room, the Donald rolled his head. The comb-over flung forth, each hair stopping a bullet in its tracks. While the stunned FBI agents were frozen, the Donald swung his Thumbchucks, hitting the earlobe of each agent. When struck, the agents of evil fell to ground, having been righteously smote in the name of freedumb. The sound of a window being broken by a grenade, caught the Donald’s attention. “Oh no, the orphans!”, he thought. But to his relief he saw that Matt Gaetz had thrown his naked body over the orphans and was using a humping motion to deflect the grenades. Running from the room and into the courtyard, the Donald found himself surrounded by 20, no 30 FBI agents. “Give up, Donald” they yelled. “It’s time to be forcibly made to wear makeup and be transgender. And then, we shall give you the ABORTION”. “Never”, yelled the Donald, dropping his chin between his 4D breasts. As he lifted his head, the orange makeup left the Donald’s face, struck the 50 FBI agents and turned them to goo. Suddenly a cloud of strawberry smelling smoke appeared from the side of the house. A high pitched voice emerged from the cloud. Struggling to form words, it was clear the speaker had a broken brain. “BAD MAN BEHIND” screeched the Boebert! Swiftly, the Donald reached down and flung his diaper, heavy with the days contents, around the force of Navy Seals that had snuck up behind him. As the team began their death knell, the Donald thought “it looks like they really stepped in now”. Taking a moment to appreciate his clever one liner, the Donald’s moment of glory was interrupted by the sounds of dozens of black cars approaching the covered bridge that guarded the entrance to Mar a Lago. But as the vehicles approached, from under the bridge came a guttural groan. Suddenly the Kari Lake Bridge Troll came rising up. Her stubby head and squinty eyes, though horrendous to view, did nothing to distract from her worst feature… the double mouth. “I am mad”, said one mouth. “I am happy” said the other. For the Kari Lake Bridge Troll took talking out of both sides of its mouth to a new level. Listening to the nonsensical utterances, the government warriors didn’t stand a chance. They were left stunned and confused. And they didn’t even try to defend themselves as the Kari Lake Bridge Troll devoured them, one by one. The Donald, tired by his efforts of defending himself against Biden’s death squads turned to go inside. “Now maybe I can get back to solving World Hunger” he thought as he grabbed Boebert’s bobert. Suddenly, a shadow appeared. Looking up, the Donald noticed dozens, I mean hundred, of paratroopers heading towards him. “I’m going to need help with this one” the Donald thought. “Putin, the Beast!”, yelled the Donald. Vladimir Putin dropped the boxes of classified national secrets he had purchased and went running for the level. He pulled the lever and quickly covered his eyes, unwilling to witness the upcoming massacre. The sound of chains being released echoed throughout Mar a Largo. Suddenly silence filled the air as the smell of a freshly opened grave filled the courtyard. A husky whine suddenly pierced the air as the Marjorie Taylor Greene beast shuffled out from the shadows. Dead faced, with empty eyes, an upturned nose, and a small, bitter mouth, this beast was frightening to look at. As its three clawed toes tore into the stone beneath it, a hollow voice uttered “Wherrrreee”. “Up there”, yelled the Donald. Looking around, the beast was confused. “No, UP THERE” yelled the Donald. The beast, finally understanding, yelled to Putin “Master”, it questioned. “Da”, screamed Putin, panic filling his voice. The MTG beast looked and began screaming gibberish. The paratroopers, minds stunned by confusing nonsense they heard being said the MTG beast, dully looked down. Upon seeing the beast, they stiffened and were instantly turned to stone. And their bodies crashed to the courtyard, Putin pushed the lever back up. From the shadows, a tiny Ron DeSantis emerged. Running back and forth, flailing its arms, and yelling in a high pitched voice “I’m a big man! Disney bad! I’m tough, I’m strong, ahahhhhahhhaha”. The TMG, amused, began to chase the little DeSantis around the courtyard. And the Donald, smiling to himself, gave a sigh. Just another day in the life of an American hero.

FieldValue
text But it happened. The following is Donald Trumps sworn testimony of what happened that day. Donald Trump, while spoon feeding sick orphans, suddenly looked up! He had felt a disturbance in earth’s Life Flow. Quickly closing his eyes and engaged in the Super Duper Meditation (a technique so powerful that zen masters don’t dare try it), Donald realized that Biden the Destroyer had ordered his death. With a deep sigh, Donald realized that the edits to Bible that God ordered him to do would just ha…
label r/politics
dataType comment
communityName r/politics
datetime 2024-05-24
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Raw Record

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When struck, the agents of evil fell to ground, having been righteously smote in the name of freedumb. The sound of a window being broken by a grenade, caught the Donald’s attention. “Oh no, the orphans!”, he thought. But to his relief he saw that Matt Gaetz had thrown his naked body over the orphans and was using a humping motion to deflect the grenades. Running from the room and into the courtyard, the Donald found himself surrounded by 20, no 30 FBI agents. “Give up, Donald” they yelled. “It’s time to be forcibly made to wear makeup and be transgender. And then, we shall give you the ABORTION”. “Never”, yelled the Donald, dropping his chin between his 4D breasts. As he lifted his head, the orange makeup left the Donald’s face, struck the 50 FBI agents and turned them to goo. Suddenly a cloud of strawberry smelling smoke appeared from the side of the house. A high pitched voice emerged from the cloud. Struggling to form words, it was clear the speaker had a broken brain. “BAD MAN BEHIND” screeched the Boebert! Swiftly, the Donald reached down and flung his diaper, heavy with the days contents, around the force of Navy Seals that had snuck up behind him. As the team began their death knell, the Donald thought “it looks like they really stepped in now”. Taking a moment to appreciate his clever one liner, the Donald’s moment of glory was interrupted by the sounds of dozens of black cars approaching the covered bridge that guarded the entrance to Mar a Lago. But as the vehicles approached, from under the bridge came a guttural groan. Suddenly the Kari Lake Bridge Troll came rising up. Her stubby head and squinty eyes, though horrendous to view, did nothing to distract from her worst feature… the double mouth. “I am mad”, said one mouth. “I am happy” said the other. For the Kari Lake Bridge Troll took talking out of both sides of its mouth to a new level. Listening to the nonsensical utterances, the government warriors didn’t stand a chance. They were left stunned and confused. And they didn’t even try to defend themselves as the Kari Lake Bridge Troll devoured them, one by one. The Donald, tired by his efforts of defending himself against Biden’s  death squads turned to go inside. “Now maybe I can get back to solving World Hunger” he thought as he grabbed Boebert’s bobert.  Suddenly, a shadow appeared. Looking up, the Donald noticed dozens, I mean hundred, of paratroopers heading towards him. “I’m going to need help with this one” the Donald thought. “Putin, the Beast!”, yelled the Donald. Vladimir Putin dropped the boxes of classified national secrets he had purchased and went running for the level. He pulled the lever and quickly covered his eyes, unwilling to witness the upcoming massacre. The sound of chains being released echoed throughout Mar a Largo. Suddenly silence filled the air as the smell of a freshly opened grave filled the courtyard. A husky whine suddenly pierced the air as the Marjorie Taylor Greene beast shuffled out from the shadows. Dead faced, with empty eyes, an upturned nose, and a small, bitter mouth, this beast was frightening to look at. As its three clawed toes tore into the stone beneath it, a hollow voice uttered “Wherrrreee”. “Up there”, yelled the Donald. Looking around, the beast was confused. “No, UP THERE” yelled the Donald. The beast, finally understanding, yelled to Putin “Master”, it questioned. “Da”, screamed Putin, panic filling his voice. The MTG beast looked and began screaming gibberish. The paratroopers, minds stunned by confusing nonsense they heard being said the MTG beast, dully looked down. Upon seeing the beast, they stiffened and were instantly turned to stone. And their bodies crashed to the courtyard, Putin pushed the lever back up. From the shadows, a tiny Ron DeSantis emerged. Running back and forth, flailing its arms, and yelling in a high pitched voice “I’m a big man! Disney bad! I’m tough, I’m strong, ahahhhhahhhaha”. The TMG, amused, began to chase the little DeSantis around the courtyard. And the Donald, smiling to himself, gave a sigh. Just another day in the life of an American hero.",
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